This is a story about a very confused girl who left Vietnam to follow her dream. She was so lost and confused when she first came to Bangkok. She left with a little suitcase & every little belonging she got. She left not knowing who she was or would become. She left because there was a voice somewhere telling her that her treasure was out there among strangers in this strange land.

She didn’t know that she would eventually become friends with strangers & her friends would gradually become strangers. She didn’t know that she could get lost among the dreams & lose her will to fly. She didn’t know that one day she would forget that she once loved pink so much & life was all pink. She didn’t know that life could lose its colors & turn black & white.

This is the story of how I lost my little princess among other prime numbers in this world & what I’ve been trying to do to find her just to realize that she’s always with me onevery step of my journey.

Who is the little princess?

She is the little kid in me that still wants to fly. When I was a kid, I used to practice flying by holding 2 handkerchiefs in my hands & flapping them while jumping off the doorstep. When I grew up, I knew that it was impossible, so I stopped trying.

But does my heart still want to fly?

Is it actually impossible to fly?

As adults, we often try to forget the things we truly want because we find them hard or impossible to accomplish. Inside each of us, there is a little prince/ princess that always listens to his/ her heart & doesn’t hesitate to try out his/ her little silly ideas.

Who am I?

I’m a wanderer who keeps walking toward tomorrow.

I’m just another being in this endless reality who keeps searching for its existence.

Though I want to be someone in this world so badly, I am nobody.

I think we are travelers in this world. There will be no home until the day we stop searching for our identities. It’s an endless & homeless journey to figure out who we are & why we are here. Every day, we’re passing places & never stop to learn more about those strange places. As adults, we don’t have time to get to know strangers & make friends. We’re too busy with the world to be friends with ourselves. We have so many important matters to solve & gradually forget about our little princes/ princesses.

The prime number(s)

Prime numbers are those that are greater than 1 & only have 2 divisors, which are itself and the unit. Though prime numbers are abundant at the beginning of the number line, they get less and less common as the numbers get bigger. The average spacing between primes approaches infinity as you travel up the number line, but in any finite list of numbers, the biggest prime gap could be much larger than the average. No one has been able to establish how large these gaps can be.

I think we are prime numbers with our own unique traits, which also sets an unbreakable distance between us. Being alone doesn’t make a person lonely. Being with others & unable to connect makes me wish that I knew the secret of prime gravity so I could draw others closer to my isolation.

Though I’ve always tried to be different, I don’t want to be too different. Or maybe I’m longing for the world to understand my differences. Though I keep trying to stand out, deep down in my little heart, I still long for the feeling of belonging to some place, any place on earth. I’ve always strived to walk on a path that no one has ever discovered before.

I just want to know that somewhere out there, there are prime numbers who keep following their journeys regardless of the infinite prime gaps.

How far apart can we be…

A twin prime is a prime number that is either 2 less or 2 more than another prime number. In other words, a twin prime is a prime that has a prime gap of 2. In 2013, a mathematician named Yitang Zhang proved that even though primes get increasingly rare as you go further out along the number line, you will never stop finding pairs of primes that are a bounded distance apart — within 70 million, which was later reduced to 246.

Something that has always been thought to be infinite was proven to be bounded.

How do we know it’s a rose?

I’ve heard this story from one of my professors & really love the meaning behind it, or my interpretation of it.

A long time ago, there was a man who got stuck on a boat for some reason. He held a rose in his hand & kept wondering to himself:

How do we know that it’s a rose even when we look at a silhouette picture or a drawing of it?

What makes a rose a rose?

He then came up with an answer:

It’s because there are other flowers that allow us to distinguish a rose from them.

This makes me wonder:

How can I know who I am without others?

I find myself searching for my identity through the reflections of those around me. When I talk to a friend or stranger & hear their stories, I often relate to myself & my own stories. I keep only what belongs to me. Sometimes, those stories are totally unrelated to my experience, but I have my own way to interpret them & make them mine. My real name is Hồng. People call me Hong & have their own ways of pronouncing it because it’s too difficult to pronounce correctly. So, I have different names depending on who I’m talking with. My English name is Anne, but some people call me Ann or even Annie. My Thai name is แมว (Meow), yet some people call me เหมียว (Maew) or Cat.

I wonder if I have different personalities or identities by having so many different names. What if those who call me Anne meet those who call me Hong or Meow? Who am I to a stranger? Being in Thailand for so long makes me forget being called by my Vietnamese name. Maybe I’m forgetting my Vietnamese identity by being called by other names.

Also, my real name means rose in Vietnamese. I want to use this opportunity to go out & get to know other kinds of flowers to see myself clearer.

 

documentary & fiction: my outside & inside worlds

the outer & inner journeys to find our treasures in the wild

 This is an experimental documentary with 2 main storylines: my outside experience which is the documentary part & the fiction short film about the little princess. These 2 elements will be merged into 1 story, which is my attempt to express my inner & outer journey of searching for my identities through my relationships with others. As we grow up, we tend to forget to ask questions about essential things in life. This is a journey to find the answer to all of the questions I have about myself & my little princess.

The documentary & fiction stories will be told following 3 main chapters: stranger(s), friend(s) & u(s). Through these chapters, I want to show the way I’ve been developing relationships with strangers, how some of them became my friends & what I’ve learned from them to realize who I am, which leads to a bigger answer of who we are in this world. This is also the story of how I lost my little princess among the busyness of this adult world & my desperate attempts to find her so I can regain my purest willingness to fly.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m talented enough to do what I want to do.

I realize that I am a traveler on this journey of life. All I can do is just keep going & experimenting until life reveals itself to me. Life is full of uncertainties. But if we won’t try, strangers will never become friends & we will never know who we are in this endless reality.

This is my personal story but I want the audience to see it as another flower on their journey. I hope the audience will reflect on their lives & feel the film with their unique experience. I hope they will carry my dreams along on their adventure in the wild.

 

documentary – the outside world

I am a bad traveler. Sometimes I don’t want others to view me as a traveler, so I act as if I know the place & try to behave like local people. Maybe it’s because I don’t want to be an outsider in life.

In the documentary part, I want to be a tourist in Thailand again so I can have a very naïve view of everything & be more adventurous. That way I can get to know more strangers, go to new places & try new things. I want to talk to strangers & listen to their stories. I’m curious to know what they are going to tell a stranger like me.

In the process of making this film, I feel as if God reveals his work to me in the most unexpected way. I’ve learned to accept life the way it is. I’ve learned to see every moment in life as the perfect treasure that we can only get from living our life to the fullest.

In feature films the director is God; in documentary films God is the director.

-Alfred Hitchcock –

 

fiction – the inside world

This is the continuing story of my old short film about the little princess. It’s about the little girl & the little mailboy who can’t read.

They are the little princess & prince who now forget who they are in this world. Somehow they meet each other just like two lonely prime numbers bumping into each other in the middle of their journeys. Together they start a new journey to find the unknown treasures in the wild.

Through this journey, they will eventually understand why they started this journey & how important it is to keep going into the unknown paths.

While the little princess is supposed to listen to her heart & become an adventurer, life is cruel to dreamers. There are so many things to worry about. There have been so many obstacles along the outer road to my dream. As if life just wants us to give up & compromise on ordinary life. Growing up & seeing my friends giving up on their childish dreams makes me wonder if I should also grow up just like them.

In the little princess’ world, it’s so easy to fall in love & find her little prince. But in reality, it’s so easy to fall out of love with our dreams & live our lives as ordinary adults, who don‘t even realize that they are so lost & confused on the journey of life.

The little princess’ world will be a no-man world where we can see only the essentials: the little princess & her dreams. She doesn’t need others’ approval to do what she wants. She leaves colors where she passes as she wants to leave parts of her there. Because she wants to warn us about the danger of the baobabs – toxic things of the adult world that will eat our souls & crush our dreams if we neglect them.

As long as we still keep dreaming, we will see the little princess/ prince walking side by side with us wherever we go. We can still grow up & remember little roses that we used to love & care for with all we had. It’s just so important to remember our little princess/ prince in this chaotic world.

 

the story

chapter I   stranger(s)

There is a little girl living in the middle of nowhere. One can say that she has no home. She doesn’t need a house since she keeps moving. Her houses are the abandoned places she passes by. She needs the place only to rest & then continues her journey to find the truth in the world that is full of things that don’t matter.

One day, the little girl receives a mysterious box with 3 holes from the mailboy who can’t read. They are the loneliest prime numbers in the world because they have been traveling their entire life & haven’t seen anyone on the road. The little girl has been drawing the map of places that matter so she won’t get lost in the adult world.

When they look at the mysterious box, they both remember parts of them that have been lost for such a long time. They both know that there must be something really important inside the box. A very important thing that is only visible to innocent souls. The mailboy suddenly remembers a special flower he once cared about with all his heart.

They both want to become adventurers to explore the things that are essential in this world. Though the unknown journey is scary, one must start going to search for their treasures.

At the beginning of making this film, I went out on my motorbike every day to search for filming locations in my neighborhood. I found so many interesting places that I’d never noticed before. I also found so many interesting strangers in the most unexpected way. They are the Takraw players at the nearby park & some random strangers I may never see again.

I’d never heard about Hoop Sepak Takraw (Takraw Lawd Huang). It’s fascinating to learn about this sport & the lives of the people in Sena 2 Takraw Club. At first, I didn’t know how things would turn out between those strangers & me. I didn’t know that this unexpected relationship would eventually become an unforgettable memory of my life.

To me, it’s an invaluable treasure of life for those who aren’t afraid of being friends with strangers.

 

chapter II   friend(s)

The little girl & the mailboy search for their unknown treasure in every little corner they see. Sometimes they’re exhausted & don’t feel like walking anymore. Sometimes they think they find their treasure but it’s just garbage that used to be someone else’s treasure.

It’s hard to search for something they don’t know. The treasure they’re looking for could be some mythical belief in their childish mind. Their treasure might not be as important as they thought.

Until one day, they reach the edge of the map & get lost in the wild. They now can see what’s inside the box & remember the long-lost dreams that they once had. They can’t silence their hearts anymore.

They both realize that they must go on separate paths to follow the voices in their hearts. It’s the only way they can meet their little prince & princess again.

As I grew up, my friends & I gradually drifted farther & farther away into our own worries & busyness. We’ve become strangers to each other as life keeps going on. I’ve met many more strangers who then became my friends. I’ve learned a lot about their lives & my life through the reflection of their stories.

After years of being lost in the adult world, I’ve learned to be friend with my true self again. Forgetting about my childhood dreams is such a scary thing when growing up. Adults always come up with excuses for not following what our hearts always try to tell us. We have been silencing our little princess/ prince’s voice simply because we’re too scared to believe in great things waiting for us behind the mountains. We forget how simple life is & gradually lose our purest desire to find our treasure in the world.

My favorite director Billy Wilder once said

Anyone who doesn’t believe in miracles isn’t a realist.

Another thing I’ve learned while making this film is to believe in the miracles of life & see the world through an innocent lens. So I can see the things that truly matter in this world & be more courageous on this lonely path of a prime number.

chapter III   u(s)

The most important thing is the journey itself, not the treasure. There is no definite answer to all of our questions about life. The little girl now remembers her true identity as the little princess. She now learns that she must travel alone to find her own little princess. Life has no home for her as she has no rest until the day she finds her treasure. She may get lost & hurt but now she knows that she must trust life for it to reveal all the miracles in the wild.

The little princess must leave her house because there are infinite doors waiting for her in the unknown paths. All she has to do is to believe in the invisible.

This is the end of my journal about how I grew up as a prime number that keeps questioning its infinite prime gaps. I feel as if no one around me ever understands what I’m trying to do. I’ve always been alone on this journey & I think it’s supposed to be that way. But sometimes, the absence of another understanding being nearby could discourage me. So, what is it that keeps me continuing the journey after all those years of struggling?

I have so many different names depending on the language of the person I’m talking to. Does it affect the way I think & feel things? Does it affect my personality at all?

I named this chapter Us because I want to invite the audience to think, feel & question life differently. I want to encourage other prime numbers out there to start their adventure. I don’t know the answers to my questions either. But I know one thing for sure: we must keep moving out of the places that make us think that we’re in total control of our life. Just because it’s something we’ve known for our entire life doesn’t mean it is more valuable than the unknown treasure out there in the wild.

I wanted to make this film purely from the heart. I think it’s the best way to communicate with my audience because feeling is something we all have. We just need a little bit of courage to trust in that feeling & follow the voices in our hearts to wherever our treasures are.

At the end of the day, when I’m alone in my room, am I Hong, Anne, Annie, or Meow?

 

making of the 2 worlds

 

This film started with the questions I’ve been asking myself: What is cinema? & Why am I doing this? So, I traced back to the very beginning of cinema & realized that filmmakers were simply those who had a story to tell & used cinema as a tool to express themselves. Georges Méliès’ Trip to the Moon inspired me to tell my story from the heart & gives me the courage to make a movie though I didn‘t have a team like everyone else.

Filmmaking to me is just common sense. I made this film with help & support from my friends who aren’t familiar with filmmaking. There were a lot of decisions to make & they all have to serve the purpose of telling a story.

I love movies in the silent era & wanted to play around with title cards & sounds. My goal was to enhance the old film techniques rather than merely copy them. I also love the simplicity of black & white films & wanted to create something new out of the basics.

Besides, I was inspired by the French New Wave to break the rules of traditional cinema. I love experimenting with new things but wanted to try my best to communicate with the audience using movie language.

I kept thinking about how to enhance cinema & make people feel what I feel through this film. My goal was to tell my story in the most authentic way & hopefully touch the audience’s hearts.

 

the fiction world

 

This short film about the little princess was filmed in black & white. It’s simply because I love the way darker colors turn into shadow/ black & lighter colors turn into light/ white. Black & white movies always fascinate me for some reason. I wanted to turn my little fantasy into black & white to show the simplicity of dreams & passions.

In the little girl’s world, the meaning of ‘house’ is distorted. It’s not a place to stay but rather a moment in life when you start questioning your existence.

In this no-man world, they keep walking deeper into the wild until they’re lost in the dumpster of abandoned hopes & dreams.

The fiction world was intercut between the little girl (present) & the little princess (past) as the little girl gradually remembers who she once was.

All the filming locations in the little girl’s part are near my house in Bangkok. I had to change the set design a lot since I didn’t have the budget or enough people to help me actualize my initial ideas.

In the beginning, I thought I had to give up the end scene. Somehow I found the right people at the right place with the right materials who were willing to help me with my little project.

With the limited time & resources, I had to make all the props from scratch to match the little princess’ part that was filmed in Vietnam many years ago.

I’ve learned to accept imperfection & create something new to solve any unexpected problems.

my little film crew

I feel so grateful for all the help & support that made things happen. I’ve learned to trust & be patient with my little princess.

When things get tough, I keep telling my little princess that

Everything will be okay.

 

the real world

 

This is how I see the world & experience life as a prime number.

I wanted to show the way I see things, especially through the reflections of different objects around me. Sometimes I can see through the reflections & find part of me in them.

I wanted to use those daily objects as a lens to see the world in a new way. The ways I filmed the footage also reveal my relationships with the people, things & places, which eventually reflect me as a tiny being in this infinite universe.

I was a girl with a camera who tried to make a movie with all the craziness & innocence she had before entering the sophisticated adult world. I wanted to experiment with everything about cinema just like a little girl who plays around with her toys. I wanted to forget all the film techniques I’ve learned throughout the years to make a movie from the heart.

 

merging the 2 worlds

 

Throughout the entire story, the documentary & fictional world will be intercut & merged into 1 storyline where we are all moving toward the same direction. In the end, the 2 worlds will come closer when the little girl finally finds her little princess & the dream gradually becomes reality.

The 2 worlds are connected by the cinematic forms that I wanted to experiment with. Besides playing with the title cards of silent films, I used voice-overs to give life to my characters & connecting the 2 worlds. The texts & voices also play an important role in controlling the time & how the audience perceives the time of that scene.

I found it interesting how our minds interpret the dialog differently when seeing versus hearing it.

I tried expressing the version of myself as a filmmaker using different cinematic elements I’ve learned. I tried combining the screenplay I wrote with scenes from an old short film of mine. I was curious to see how far our minds can comprehend complex matters that happen at once.

I also used shapes & layers to give space for the audience to imagine. We’re living in a world where we’re often told how we should behave. Growing up, we tend to hide our feelings because we’re scared to be wrong. We’re confused about our differences from other beings. As adults, we ignore the little voices in our hearts that keep telling us our most authentic thoughts & feelings.

I hope the audience will have their unique interpretations of my film.

Bananas make you happy. Why don’t we just hold hands & drink banana milk.

– banana song –

I gave my friends these lyrics & asked them to sing them in their own way. I wish our life could be simple & joyful just like this silly song.

 

the end

Through my story, I want the audience to start asking themselves questions that they have been trying to avoid as grown-ups. It’s sad to live in a world where no one is paying attention to the things that matter.

 

Can our happiness be just that simple?

Can we simplify the world & live up to only essential things?